Gettin' real for a minute. I've been a bit of a hot mess for a couple weeks now. Not everyone believes in stored/trapped/stuffed emotions and their effects on the body presenting in illness/injury, but I actually do. I was introduced to the idea about 4-5 years ago, and it just clicked.
For anyone who may not know, I have been dealing with intense pain in my upper back/shoulder area. I finally went to the chiropractor and discovered my rib heads were out of place back there. I cannot for the life of me, think of when I got injured, what would've made my ribs move out of place. But I know when I finally started noticing the pain and it lines up perfectly with when some things got exponentially more difficult....possibly sooner, but I know for sure it started in May. Life, work, family... Since going in for chiropractic adjustments, I've been kind of an emotional wreck. Laughing and crying in the office during treatment, then going home and riding the waves of emotion, scattered all over, from happy to sad to grumpy to excited to anxious...you name it, I've probably felt it. It has made me so frustrated (anger).
I finally reopened a book I hadn't looked at in a while, that I was told about by another friend called "Heal Your Body" by Louise Hay. I went through all the symptoms I've been experiencing in the past couple weeks and the spinal misalignments page as well trying to pinpoint what emotions are surfacing, and what they're tied to, and how to release them. Fear and anger are the two the most high on the list. Of course they are. Feeling left out, not belonging, feeling not good enough, not measuring up, resentment, too much on my mind... it goes on and on. I'm working through some of those problems and trying to recognize what's triggering the emotion so I can deal with it in a healthy way. Thank goodness for the support of my husband.
What does any of this have to do with running? Well...I always talk about how I use running as a means to clear my head, refocus and come home refreshed, and then exercise second. Well, I think I've been using running as a way to escape the things I couldn't deal with at the time. I just kept stuffing the emotions and would run to "run away from the problem" which is probably why the runs have felt so disconnected, frustrating, not cleansing, cluttered....I would come home jumbled and sometimes more of a mess. They certainly weren't fun. I'm hoping that this is the case and working through stuff will help solve the loss of love for running, the physical ailments in my back/shoulder/ribs/hip/neck, and the illnesses that have accompanied them.
I realize I probably sound like a crazy person to some, but for me, it makes complete sense. Maybe it'll resonate with someone else as well.
In the process of relearning how to take better care of my body, I guess I also need to remember to take better care of my mind as well. What our minds say, our bodies feel.
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad I decided to finally go to a chiropractor. I'm glad that the pain is leaving my body, I'm not excited about all the emotions it's evoked, but in the end, it'll make me healthier and stronger, and gentler.
Does anyone else believe in whole body healing? Do you have similar experiences when getting chiropractic work done, or even from a massage?
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