I ran a 5k yesterday morning with a virtual racing team that was started here in Arizona, called Arizona Virtual Running, so there's a pretty good amount of locals who run the race. It seems insignificant, but it was a very important race for me. It meant enough for me to run it with a sinus infection and upper respiratory illness, in the cold, and with the wind.
Last year it was my first race I ran for me. I struggled so badly. I had just started running again a few weeks before and was just praying for at least one of the three miles in the 9's. I fought like crazy to get at least one (9:46). The rest were in the 10's. I finished last year with a distance of 2.81 (there was a gigantic puddle at the halfway point, so the distance was shortened) and on track to have a 5k in 32:09.
This year I wanted to see how far I could push. I have already gotten a non racing 5k in 26:56, I wanted to know if I could do it again, and then I got sick. I didn't care how miserable I was, I was running this thing. I finished at a distance of 3.02 on track to complete the 5k in 27:55!!! One of my miles was in the 8's (8:47). The others might have been as well, but when we turned around at the halfway, we turned right into a headwind!! I was so frustrated! I pushed as hard as I could, but my lungs and chest just couldn't get back below a 9, though I was close, I was struggling physically to push myself to the end. At one point with the end in sight I stopped for just a moment trying to breathe better, but realized if I just get it done, I'll be done. Mentally, I was as strong as ever. I pushed everything left in the tank out to finish this thing strong.
Why was this so significant though? I spent this whole year fighting for myself. I pushed my limits mentally and physically. I dealt with pain, frustration, injury, and doubts. I tried new things and succeeded. I tried new things and failed. But I never once gave up on myself and what I wanted. I feel like this race marked my succession on a job well done (though I'm not actually finished).
Then, I "met" this cute little 3 year old a couple weeks ago. I am a member of the "I Run 4 Michael" community on Facebook (this link will take you to their website). The admins pair runners with buddys (children and adults) with disabilities and give us the opportunity to build relationships with each other and the families and dedicate our runs, workouts, whatever we choose, to our buddy. Well after waiting for 19 weeks I was paired with the most amazing little girl! Her desire to fight astounds me and the love of her family and friends to support one another is simply heartwarming and amazing. Let me introduce her to you using the words of her mother Paige:
Jaylee suffered an in utero stroke during my pregnancy that left her with severe brain damage. At 4 months old she had her first seizure and she was immediately diagnosed with epilepsy after an EEG.. (those were controlled with medications) but at 7 months old she had her first infantile spasm.. I don't know if you know much about those but they are pretty devastating and very hard to control. None of the treatments controlled Jaylee's spasms and before we knew it she was having hundreds of seizures a day (her neuro now thinks she was basically seizing all day every day).
Jaylee was being seen here in Indiana at the Children's hospital (Riley) in Indianapolis but they were continously unable to control her seizures. We watched Jaylee slowly drift away. Due to illnesses, medications, and the number of seizures she was having.. she was losing any and all the progress she had worked so hard in her many therapies to reach. At 1 1/2 she lost all head control, her ability to swallow, her ability to bear any and all weight on her legs, and she was starting to lose her sweet personality ( I forgot to mention that Jaylee is the HAPPIEST, sweetest little thing in the entire world).
Desperate, we took her to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio for another opinion in July of 2013. The neurology team there presented Jaylee's case and in January of 2014 we got a call from her neuro that she was a candidate for a surgery there where they would remove the bad (right hemisphere) part of her brain as a last resort to control her seizures. We went ahead with the surgery. Jaylee had only a 50% chance to come out seizure free but we couldn't stand to watch her suffer the way she was for another day.
Today, Jaylee is 269 days seizure FREE! :) (as of Nov 23, 2014)
Jaylee has Cerebral Palsy, Schizencephaly, Encephalomalacia, quadraplegia, cortical blindness in both eyes, global developmental delays, and she underwent a hemispherectomy (that I mentioned about) and the entire right hemisphere of her brain was completely disconnected. She has a feeding tube and her way of getting around is in a very blinged-out pink wheelchair!
Her medical diagnoses list is long but she is the happiest little girl. She LOVES to swim and she loves music and being around family and people. She smiles and laughs constantly :) She goes to school 5 days a week and she loves it! Words can't really describe how amazing she is or how much she means to me. I don't think I could ever love anyone like I love her!
Runner Buddy Brag Alert: I get to run for this amazing girl, every day. She also spent this whole year fighting for herself. I believe wholeheartedly that she wanted to be here on this earth. She wanted to be with her loving family as long as she could, and now I have the great honor to have her in my life. This weighed on my mind heavily as I struggled to get through this race. This race was not only for me, but also for Jaylee. Though our struggles are different, and there's a 30 year difference in age, she inspires me and already helps me want to be even better and work even harder and love my family more.
So while running sick was not entirely the smartest decision I've ever made and bucks against what I've learned about resting and recovering and listening to my body, if there ever was a day to throw caution to the wind, yesterday was that day.
Thank you to everyone who's ever supported me, loved me, strengthened me, and given me constructive advice. I'm not done fighting and have so much left to give. Sweet Jaylee fights everyday as well and I will do whatever I can to support this sweet little girl who inspires me so much. Thank you Jaylee for being in my heart, on my mind and in my waterbottle pouch (in lego form of course) as we ran this race together and crossed that finish line together. Both of my medals (last year's and todays) will be shipped to you after Thanksgiving as a reminder to always fight as best we can.
(The picture at the end is Laura, my new friend. She's an I Run 4 runner also and lives here in Mesa. She runs for Annelise who lives in Australia!)
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